


House of Horrors

by shinytoymercenaries



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Apartment AU, Established Relationship, Fluff, Halloween prompt, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Modern AU, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Felix, Other, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5091314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinytoymercenaries/pseuds/shinytoymercenaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix is forced to watch Junior while Tucker and Wash are out of town. Things go about as well as expected.</p><p>//</p><p>Original prompt: Accidentally scared a kid and their adult is angry - all I'm saying is angry dad!Tucker and lolix</p>
            </blockquote>





	House of Horrors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashaleighmarie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashaleighmarie/gifts).



> Written (with permission) in the Blood Gulch Apartments AU by ashaleighmarie on AO3. You don't have to read the story to understand this one but I am gonna highly recommend that you do; most things in the fic do not reflect the canon of the other story. You can also find me on tumblr: scarymissmerry@tumblr.com

It was the incessant knocking on his apartment door that woke him, lazily lifting his head from where he lay underneath the bed comforter. Drowsily, he blinked and yanked the covers back over his head, resting at his shoulders, and stole a glance at the clock…fuck, it was 6pm. Really, he should have been awake by now, but he’d actually worked this morning and dealt with a fucking annoying client…detailed tattoo, on the back where the skin is highly sensitive, and of course he was working with virgin skin. It hadn’t been a very easy day at all. Also Locus was still working dumb overtime hours this week and Felix hated being bored and waiting for him to come home. So taking a nap was best.

Which made him wonder just who the fuck was trying to break down their apartment door. It couldn’t have been Locus, not even if he’d come home early. It only took forgetting his keys once to make Locus swear never to do it again, if only because Felix had taken it upon himself to keep Locus locked out of the apartment as a ‘joke’. His joke hadn’t lasted too long, Felix remembered, because Locus started threatening to break down the door and it just ruined all his fun because he knew Locus would actually do it. They were pretty notorious for breaking things in their apartment, something Locus told him was nothing to be proud of.

Forcefully throwing the covers off and to the ground, hastily rubbing his eyes as he did so, he redressed himself as quickly as possible in a pair of mid-thigh length shorts and the shirt he’d worn earlier. He was so fucking tired, he really could have cared less if that last eye rubbing had smeared any of his eye liner, especially since he was too damn tired to take it off before falling out. Whoever this was better have had a good goddamn reason for all this, like the fucking zombie apocalypse was happening or something. Tramping from his bedroom to the front door, he fumbled with the top latches and bolts before finally flinging open the door.

Before him stood Kaikaina Grif, a girl who lived in their apartment building and someone he knew quite well. In fact, whenever he and Locus would have fights in the past, he’d go over and sleep on her couch. Over her shoulder, she had slung a green duffel bag that was obviously overflowing, and it stood out weirdly against her yellow tanktop. What stood out even more was the kid hanging from her arm, annoyingly as high as his waist.

"Wow, answer your fucking door much?" she huffed, not able to be as animated with both of her hands occupied.

"Wow, little kid ears much?" Felix asked sarcastically with a laugh, knowing that it didn't really bother either of them in the slightest. To be fair, Felix hated kids and Kaikaina was plain awful with children - she was more the type to love on kids as long as she could give them back at the end of the day. And looking closer, if the color of this kid's jacket was any indication, it was Tucker's kid. "...Okay, why do you have-"

"Okay, it's a super long story so just listen. Tucker and Wash left town for something, really don't remember for what, and they asked me to watch him and in all fairness I wasn't listening that hard because I thought that they meant a dog for some reason and now I got called into work so can't you just watch him for me until they get back?" She huffed out in a single breath...well, that did sum up things pretty fairly. 

"Thought you weren't stri-I mean, _dancing_ anymore." Felix smirked, darting his eyes over as he chose his words carefully. He hated kids, he really did, but what he hated even more was their pissed off parents, wondering why they suddenly learned a new vocabulary word courtesy of the 'scary orange guy in the building'. And yes, ‘scary orange guy’, as opposed to Grif who was the ‘fat orange guy’, just for clarification.

“Oh pffft, as far as you and Dex know apparently.” Kaikaina laughed, her normal frivolity and happiness overtaking her anger for a second, but it was quickly replaced with a sense of urgency, “Okay, but like…you can watch him right? It’s not like it’s gonna be all night or anything.”

“Oh, uh-huh, no. I can’t. Extremely busy right now.”

“Oh like hell.” she countered quickly, leaning forward as she did so.

“What the fuck do you know?” he asked back, although there was more playfulness to his tone than anger.

“Jesus Christ, because you look like you just crawled out of a grave because your makeup is smeared to hell and back? Seriously I would fix that and I would even offer to do it for you if I wasn’t in such a _rush _!” Kai accented the last word, popping her head sideways to point down at Junior who remained silent throughout the entirety of their conversation but was glaring pure daggers at Felix. “Although on second thought, it is Halloween so maybe that’s a good look for you.”__

__Felix rolled his eyes, feeling only slightly self-conscious about his face even though he tried to act like it didn’t bother him, “Okay, look, why me? Go talk to the power couple down the hall.” He couldn’t really remember their names but one was like a doctor or trying to become a doctor and he wasn’t sure what the other one did but he wore a lot of pink and made a lot of gift baskets that he left on people's doorsteps. Felix would have much rather preferred a big basket of money than baked goods and trinkets and ‘morning after’ stuff._ _

__“Ugh, like I didn’t already try? I live next door to them, hello? And I’m not asking bro because he’ll just ask questions and it’ll get annoying, and the people who live in the nice big apartment aren’t home. So you gotta do this for me.”_ _

__Felix made a low grumble in his throat, trying to think of something, anything. But why the fuck did he have to be the last option here? Technically there was the kook who owned this building but even Felix thought that was too cruel for a kid to have to sit through. Pretty sure the guy who lived on the first floor and fixed their apartment occasionally didn’t even speak English. And the only other people he could say he knew in the building were those teenagers who lived a floor above them. Before he could think of anything else to say, some kind of noise came through on Kaikaina’s phone which she fished out of pocket and answered. It must have been some kind of co-worker, as far as Felix could tell, and before he could even stop her, she was heading towards the stairwell._ _

__“Kai, get the hell back here! I’m gonna-” but she was already gone. Felix pursed his lips and gave another low groan in his throat, coming off the door jamb which he’d been holding onto, and cast his eyes over at the kid. Junior, as far as he could remember the kid’s name, was still glaring at him and hadn’t moved. It was no secret this kid didn’t like him and for a multitude of reasons but that was okay, Felix reasoned, he didn’t like this kid either…no matter how immature that ended up sounding in his head. Felix rolled his eyes and motioned for the kid to come in._ _

__Still silent, Junior walked inside, trying to keep his childlike curiosity hidden as he fought to keep from looking around his new environment. Felix watched him, distrustful, throughout the entire process and told him flatly to ‘just sit on the couch or something’. At least the kid complied easily enough, swinging his tiny backpack off his shoulder as he climbed onto their couch. Hopefully, he’d just sit there…quietly…and unmoving. That would make things a lot easier, especially considering he and Locus didn’t exactly have what one would call a ‘kid-friendly apartment’._ _

__Wait, Locus, of course! He didn’t have to suffer alone like this. Pulling out his phone, Felix headed towards the kitchen but stopped and looked over his shoulder…he hesitated for a moment about leaving the kid alone but made it clear he was just gonna make a phone call and…yeah. Felix disappeared behind the wall of their sectioned off kitchen and pulled the door to, hitting the speed dial for Locus’s number on his phone. It rang only twice before Locus picked up, sounding obviously tired and stressed if his “What, Felix?” greeting was anything to go by._ _

__“Okay, look, don’t hang up. This is an emergency.” Probably not the best way to start out this phone call but it was the truth._ _

__There was an odd silence on the other end of the phone, awkward enough that Felix thought the call might have dropped and he made a face to mirror his confusion._ _

__“...are you hurt or stranded?” It was low, almost dangerous-sounding from the other end. Yep, okay, bad way to start this off._ _

__“Well...not technically in so many worrrds…” Felix trailed off, stretching the ‘r’-syllable out. “Hey, you remember Tucker, right? Kinda short guy that lives in the building…he lives with that annoying asshole Wash…? The guys who live next door?”_ _

__“Yes?” Locus was obviously waiting for him to get to the point, knowing now that Felix wasn’t in any danger. And yeah, bringing Tucker’s name up definitely brought bad things with it. Back in the day, way before they lived together or even thought about getting together, Felix and Tucker had been dating. But it was like...right out of high school and they were basically kids and stupid and it didn’t mean anything, and basically it ended with the two of them hating each other. Felix really hoped they weren’t about to get into all that, considering how long ago it was. It was also a reason Tucker’s kid hated him too, he was old enough to remember Felix coming over and spending time with his dad apparently. Whatever._ _

__“Okay, look, Kai was watching Tucker’s kid but then shoved him off on me because there’s no one else apparently alive in this stupid fucking building and now…” Felix paused, to peek out of the kitchen door to look at Junior, who remained seated on the couch and was swinging his legs, “...now, he’s in our apartment until Tucker and Wash get back from whatever the fuck it is they’re doing. Can you just come home and deal with this? Come on. For me.” he whined pitifully, but anyone could detect the fake emotion in his voice. “It’s not like I brought this on myself.” For once it was actually true; he didn’t go looking for trouble this time. He’d have been more than content to lay in his bed, wake up when Locus got home, pester him into doing something fun like watching scary movies since it was Halloween, and then make out with him and go to bed. Should have been a full-proof plan…_ _

__Felix could hear Locus sigh on the other end of the phone, another pause followed this, “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll try to be home as fast as I can. Find out Tucker’s number and call him.”_ _

__Felix scoffed, “Ugh, that’s it?” Although he wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting, it wasn’t like Locus could just magically teleport here._ _

__“Felix…” Locus growled, he definitely didn’t sound in the mood for this._ _

__“Fine.” Felix grumbled, ending the call and went to shove the phone into a pocket his shorts didn’t have. Catching sight of his reflection the dark screen, he pulled up his camera and rubbed the black streaks off his face with water from the kitchen sink. He settled for leaving his phone on the counter when he was done, took a huge sigh, and walked back into the living room. What exactly was he supposed to do? Entertain him or something? It wasn’t like you could hold a conversation with a kid, at least not one that was worthwhile. He really couldn’t care less about this kid’s school problems or anything like that. Then again, at least he _could _talk to kids. Locus was just as bad as him only Locus would freeze up and not say anything and just stand there awkwardly like a statue; forget asking him to hold a kid either, he always held them outward like they were miniature bombs. The exact reason why you would never see any little brats running around their apartment._ _ __

__Still…he guessed it did kind of suck to be a kid who was forced to sit in a strange apartment during Halloween. At least, he would hate that._ _

__“So…” Felix started, “...uh, did you call Tucker yet?” Maybe the kid had a phone and already told him. Or maybe even Kai had told him that she’d called Tucker at some point._ _

__“He knows.” Junior said, matter-of-factly looking away from Felix._ _

__“Cool…” Felix said low, bobbing his head up and down in a nod. Okay, this was gonna be harder than he thought. He and Locus didn’t exactly have guests over…ever, since Locus enjoyed his privacy and Felix hated people touching his stuff. Honestly he was too scared to let the kid touch his Xbox because he might break it…and that shit was expensive. If his backpack was any indication, like most folks in the building, he seemed to enjoy the HALO games but again, it’s not like the kid understood what was going on in them…right? Did they start making HALO games for kids…like a LEGO version or something? Felix clapped his hands together lightly as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, searching for something else to say while they waited. If Tucker knew, there was no sense in calling him; it wouldn’t speed anything up and he’d probably just end up going through some weird parental lecture like ‘don’t feed my kid peanuts, he’s allergic’ or something dumb like that._ _

__“So…” Felix started again, not sure exactly where he was taking this._ _

__“My dad told me not to talk to you. He doesn’t like you.” Junior explained with that slight innocent and kid-mimicking-their-parent attitude._ _

__Okay, that was the end of that, “Yeah…your dad and my dad have that in common.” At least the kid had interrupted him before he said something stupid like ‘hey, wanna play with this super sharp new knife of mine? bought it last week!’. “Anyhow…hey, it’s Halloween, right? You like scary stories?”_ _

__~*~_ _

__“Oh my god, I cannot believe that it took this long!” Tucker moaned, hand to his forehead in frustration as he sat in the passenger seat of Wash’s beat up car. They were currently super-speeding to get home if the mph signs they passed were any indication._ _

__“I promise, I am going as fast as I can. Believe me.” Wash supplied from the driver’s seat, eyes glued to the road._ _

__“Seriously Kai, what the hell? Of all people she had to find Felix.”_ _

__“Look, I’m sure he’s fine. Junior, I mean.” Wash interjected before Tucker could get off on another tangent. “We’re almost home so…you know…try not to think about it.”_ _

__Yeah, try not to think about the worst person he’d ever known watching his kid and possibly corrupting him in that evil den Felix and Locus called an apartment. But yeah he could not think about that...he could think about all the ways he was gonna skin Felix alive because he just knew that asshole was gonna do something…well, asshole-ish._ _

__~*~_ _

__“...but really, it was a blood-thirsty monster wearing the guy’s face like a mask!”_ _

__Annnd, cue the kid crying and the door he’d forgotten to lock swinging open at almost the exact same time. Damn, and he was so close…_ _

__“Oh my god, what is wrong with you?” Tucker asked furiously, swooping over to grab Junior and hoist him onto his hip with the kid blubbering the whole time._ _

__“What?” Felix asked genuinely confused, “I thought kids liked scary stories.” he admitted, a disgusting amount of honesty dripping from his tone._ _

__Tucker just shook his head in disgust, eyeballing Felix with an immense hatred as he grabbed. the tiny backpack from the couch and headed back to his apartment. He left without a word and headed just next door although Tucker wished they were heading to another planet with how badly he wanted to get away from Felix. It was bad enough they’d been late getting home and now Junior was crying and god only knows what Felix had done to make it that way. Felix mentioned scary stories which meant an all-nighter of explaining to Junior that there were no monsters under the bed and the darkness wasn’t going to get him._ _

__“Oh come on” Felix started, following them out and intending to follow them inside the other apartment. Instead, Tucker kicked the door behind him, sending it flying backwards where it promptly and fiercely made contact with Felix’s nose with a dull thud. Tucker smirked to himself as a flurry of curses strung up from the other side of the door. With any luck it was broken...asshole._ _

__~*~_ _

__“Hmmm, you were supposed to get here and help me,” Felix whined, cradling a plastic baggy of ice to his pink-ish red nose as he sat in between Locus’s legs, back to his chest as they sat long-ways on the couch. His nose wasn’t broken and thankfully nothing had happened to his piercing there, but it was swollen and stung like a motherfucker…the skin had even split a little meaning he’d have to wear a small bandage there. This is why he needed Locus: impulse control._ _

__“From the sound of things, you deserved that.” Locus reasoned, his arms locked around Felix’s thin waist as they lay there. Felix weighed practically nothing, and even though he was annoying, having him close like this helped to relieve Locus’s work anxiety amongst other things._ _

__“Really? You’re gonna take lizard father’s side. Wow, thanks Locus.” he pouted, crossing his arms despite the bag in his hand. He shifted it when it got too cold for his arm to handle._ _

__“You made a small child cry. And stop calling him ‘lizard father’.” Locus wasn’t exactly sure where and how Felix had latched onto that name to refer to Tucker, perhaps it had come about from something that happened years ago…something he didn’t want to think about to be honest. He sometimes got a little possessive when it came to Felix although he knew how ridiculous that was. Suddenly he felt a pressure on his knee, Felix’s hand, as the smaller body between his legs contorted and turned over, Felix’s head coming to rest on his chest._ _

__“Okay…well…maybe I feel a little bad…not a lot, like…teensy bit.” Felix said, quite possibly sarcastically, lifting his hand up to show said amount with his index and thumb finger; there was hardly any distance at all between. “I’m not apologizing.” he tacked onto the end as Locus rolled his eyes, tempted to shake his head in disdain and he slipped a hand under Felix’s shirt to rub his back._ _

__“I know.” was all Locus said. Considering how vain Felix could be, Locus figured getting his nose ‘disfigured’ for a couple of days was punishment enough. There was no sense in forcing him to go next door to apologize when he’d just come home with another grudge match with their neighbors. Sometimes he did wonder just what had happened to cause Tucker and Felix to have their falling out. He wasn’t able to ponder long as Felix sat up, straddling his hips as he leaned over to put the ice bag on the table…where it was going to melt and ruin the surface if it stayed there._ _

__Felix groaned, “I hope you know how bad this hurts. You can’t even kiss me right now.” Technically Locus could kiss him, but Felix would shove him off in pain and probably punch him. Seriously, all he’d wanted was for them to make out on this couch, maybe fuck, and watch scary movies. It took convincing but eventually Locus gave into him and turned on Netflix through their tv, while Felix took it upon himself to find the goriest, poorly made horror movie he could find along the dredges of his recommended list and turned it on._ _

__They fell asleep like that, apartment filled with the sound of squelching, over the top sound effects and blood-curdling screams._ _

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone wondering, yes, Junior got to go trick-or-treating. Tucker and Wash made him a really horrible homemade costume that was supposed to look like a Sangheili alien but uh...yeah, it didn't really.


End file.
